Dust and Obey Read online

  “You’ll be okay,” Jim said. “I’ll make sure.”

  We were briefed in proper procedure, life-vested up, and told that we needed to make it back to the island by lunch. There were emergency radios aboard each boat, as well as bottles of water.

  I hardly had time to get nervous about the task because all I could think about was having a chance to talk to Riley in private. Apparently, I’d be having plenty of time to talk to Riley in private because who knew exactly how long this paddling adventure would take.

  None of the other couples looked excited either. Angelina and Bo were arguing about something, and Atticus and Farrah were giving each other the cold shoulder.

  “Ladies first,” Riley insisted. He held the boat right on the edge of the water with the paddle across the midsection, just as we’d been instructed.

  I climbed into a bright-orange kayak, thankful it had what Leroy called an “open cockpit” as opposed to an enclosed skirt that would hold us each in. As Riley climbed in behind me, the kayak wobbled.

  I held my breath, waiting to roll over into the water. The paddles prevented that from happening, though.

  Atticus and Farrah weren’t as fortunate. Their boat dumped them onto the shore. Farrah emerged from the shallow tide sputtering.

  “I knew this was a bad idea,” she muttered. “I don’t know why I have to jump through all these stupid hoops.”

  “Grow up, Farrah. Let’s just get this over with. Only two more weeks and we’re done with this place, once and for all.”

  “I’d rather live the rest of my life cold and alone than continue with this atrocity of a marriage.” She stood and stomped off toward the parking lot.

  They were not a happy couple.

  “You ready for this?” Riley asked.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I gripped my paddle and shoved it into the bay.

  I sucked in a deep breath as I watched the ripples of water form around us. I wanted to pour out everything to Riley, but I had to make sure we were far enough away from the others before I did.

  Angelina and Bo were still bickering several feet away. I doubted they’d hear anything over the sound of their own voices.

  Ginger was actually letting Jim do all the paddling. She sat at the front of the boat and enjoyed the ride. They’d definitely hear our conversation, and, when Ginger did, she’d share it with everyone at the retreat center.

  “You doing okay?”

  I jumped. Riley had whispered the words in my ear. He’d been close enough that I’d felt his hot breath on my cheek, close enough that every inch of my skin lit up with fire.

  I forced myself to nod. “Yeah, I’m doing just fine. Of course. More than fine.”

  “Good.” His paddle slurped through the water.

  We actually worked pretty well together. Surprisingly well. We got the rhythm of paddling and glided across the water. When I looked back, I was surprised at how far away from the shore we already were.

  “What if we can’t find the island?” I asked.

  “We’ll find it. Otherwise, we’ll use the radio and Captain Leroy will pick us up.”

  “It sounds so easy when you say it that way.”

  “When you almost die, it kind of puts your worries into perspective.”

  My heart squeezed. Riley didn’t talk much about the ordeal of what had happened to him. But I understood. I’d almost died also, just in a different way. Not because of a bullet through the brain, but because of long, drawn-out torture at the hands of a madman. I thanked God every day that I was still alive.

  “I know you understand, Gabby,” Riley said quietly, acknowledging my pain throughout all this.

  I’d avoided hard conversations with him for a long time. At first it was because I didn’t think he could handle them. He just needed to focus on recovery. Then his mother had informed me that every time we spoke it set him back further on his journey toward healing.

  Life had been a confusing mess over these last several months. I’d like to think I was stronger for it.

  Finally, we’d jetted a considerable distance from everyone else, past where the waves were breaking. The only creatures around us were the small schools of fish that swam past. In the distance, some dolphins raced in the sunlight. The sight was beautiful and peaceful.

  The exertion from paddling and the snug life jacket helped keep me warm, although the water was still icy cold. It wouldn’t warm up until June or July.

  Out here, I felt comfortable talking to Riley. The only problem was that I couldn’t look Riley in the eye as I spoke with him—not without tipping the boat over. Maybe it was better that way.

  “Riley, my necklace is gone.”

  He didn’t say anything for a minute. “What do you mean?”

  “The pearl necklace I wore yesterday. It was my mom’s. I put it in my drawer last night, and this morning it was gone.”

  “I’m sorry, Gabby. Why would someone steal your necklace?”

  “That’s what I’ve been wondering. I have no clue. It makes no sense.”

  “We’ll get it back, Gabby. I promise.”

  I wasn’t sure how he could promise that, but it did make me feel better.

  “So, did you hear anything?” I asked.

  “I’m rooming with Jack Frost. He’s not very talkative, although he does seem to relax some when his wife isn’t around.”

  That was interesting. And sad, I supposed. “And?”

  “I asked him if it was always so crazy around here like it was last night. He doesn’t seem prone to gossip, so I wasn’t hopeful I’d get a lot out of him. He said he had an interesting conversation with Jim last weekend after Anna was found.”

  “Oh really? Tell me more.”

  “He said that Jim’s face went pale when he heard the news of Anna’s death. Like, totally pale, as if their friendship went deeper than anyone knew. Back further than their time here at the retreat.”

  “That’s interesting.” Had there been something going on between Anna and Jim? Brad said he’d seen them arguing. “Did he say anything else about Anna?”

  “Nothing.”

  I shook my head, finding a certain comfort in the rhythm of paddling. “I can’t figure out why Atticus and Farrah are here. I mean, neither seems interested in working things out. It’s almost like it was court ordered or something, but I can’t think of any reason why something like that would happen.”

  “I’m not sure either,” Riley said. “Usually at least one of the spouses would be pushing for something like this. It’s perplexing.”

  I frowned, trying to store away all this information so that perhaps it would make sense eventually. “Well, I heard a couple of strange things. Ginger implied that this program had driven Anna to suicide.”

  “I’m not sure if I can see how that would happen. I mean, I know this is exhausting for people. Digging into emotions and motivations and failed expectations always is. But Dr. Turner does try to offer hope.”

  “I’m not saying I agree with that assessment either, but it’s something to think about,” I said.

  “They didn’t miss a beat here, did they? I mean, not even a week later and the program is still going.”

  I’d thought about that also. The continuation didn’t seem very compassionate. At the same time, I could see the importance of pushing ahead, just as Dr. Turner had explained. The situation was sticky, to say the least.

  Just then, I noticed something at my feet. “There’s some water at the bottom of our boat.”

  “Maybe some got in when we launched.”

  “Maybe.” I kicked at the liquid. But it was weird that I hadn’t noticed the water earlier when I’d readjusted my feet so my sneakers wouldn’t get wet.

  As I pulled my foot closer to my seat, something scraped my leg. Carefully, I reached under my seat, expecting to see a stick or some dried leaves. Instead, I pulled out a piece of paper.

  “One second,” I muttered to Riley. Despite the fact that we were in the middle
of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but water, I put my paddle down across the kayak. I had to know what this was.

  Carefully, I opened the square. Was this just a page from the owner’s manual? A label that had been pulled off a life jacket?

  In my gut, I knew it wasn’t.

  When I saw the handwritten words, my suspicion was confirmed.

  CHAPTER 15

  “Whoa,” I whispered.

  “What is it?” Riley leaned over my shoulder, and again my skin came alive at his nearness.

  I quickly scanned the words, stopping by the name at the bottom “It’s a letter from . . . Anna.”

  “What?” Riley’s voice rose with surprise.

  “She must have stuffed it in the kayak before she died. These boats were stored inside the boathouse.”

  “So you think it’s another suicide note?”

  The idea made me pause a moment. “I’m not sure.”

  “Well, what does it say?”

  “It says: ‘I have been a terrible wife. My husband didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated him. Instead of honoring my vows, I made a mockery of them. I cheated. I undermined his manhood. I didn’t respect his role of leader in our house. I beg for forgiveness for the wrongs I’ve done and would like to start fresh. I come with an attitude of humility, sorrow, and brokenness.’”

  “That doesn’t make sense,” Riley said. “If she wanted to start fresh, why would she kill herself?”

  I thought about that for a moment. “I don’t know. That’s a good question. Brad said the police had her suicide note, right?”

  “He did. Why leave two? Is this even a suicide note or just some type of confessional?”

  More questions filled my mind. “Whatever it is, why leave it in the kayak? Most people would leave it on their bed or even beside their body. That’s the thing: Nothing about her committing suicide makes sense.”

  “I think we really might have a murder on our hands. The more I learn, the more that suspicion is confirmed.”

  I nodded. “I agree. And that only makes this island more dangerous.”

  “But there’s something else more dangerous.”

  I cut a glance over my shoulder at Riley. “What’s that?”

  “The bay.” He nodded at the kayak. “We’re taking on water. I’m not sure how much longer we’re going to stay afloat.”

  I swallowed hard as reality hit. We were sinking. In the middle of the bay. In April, when the water was still cold. “What are we going to do?”

  “Let’s paddle harder, faster. The closer we can get to land, the better.”

  I didn’t have time to think. Instead, I quickly shoved the letter in my pocket. I wished I had time to preserve it, to protect it, but I didn’t. Right now I had to think about survival.

  I glanced around again as I grabbed my paddle. None of the other couples were nearby. Why was that? Were we that much faster? Or had we gotten lost out here in the sea of nothing?

  I thrust my paddle deep into the water, trying to gain distance. Instead, I made the boat wobble.

  “Fast but careful,” Riley warned.

  “I’m sitting in water now, Riley,” I said, feeling the cold splash on my jeans, soaking through to my underwear.

  “I’ll paddle. You try to get the water out.”

  “How am I going to do that?”

  “Your water bottle. It won’t be fast, but maybe it will buy us some time.”

  It sounded like a better plan than the one I had. I balanced my paddle on the kayak, careful not to lose it, and began trying to scoop out the water.

  How had this happened? Had someone not checked the boats before we were sent out on this incredibly long journey? Or had someone done this on purpose? Our names had been on this boat. With that knowledge, did someone sabotage us? Maybe Steve. He had been out at the boathouse this morning.

  If so, why? Did they know who we were? Why we were here?

  I had so many questions, but no real time to ponder any of them.

  Instead, I worked hard, using my water bottle to collect as much liquid as possible.

  As I bent down to scoop another container full, something on the side of the boat caught my eye.

  A small prick in the side of the kayak was barely visible and almost looked like a nail hole.

  It definitely hadn’t come from aging or accident. Someone wanted this boat to sink.

  “I think I see the island ahead!” It was barely a speck, but there was something on the horizon. I thought for sure it was Blackbird Hall.

  Hope surged in me a moment. If we were to sink here, maybe we could make it to the shore.

  That’s when I remembered the radio we’d been given. Why hadn’t I thought of that earlier? I’d been in reaction mode. “Riley, we can call for help!”

  “Of course!”

  I opened a little box at the front of the boat and pulled it out. I flicked the switch to ON but nothing happened.

  What?

  “Do you know how to use it?” Riley took another stroke and then another and another. We were moving at a nice clip . . . but would it be fast enough?

  “I’m trying. I think the batteries are dead.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” Riley muttered.

  “I wish.” I smacked it with my hands, but nothing happened. Realizing that more water was flooding inside the boat, I scrambled to open the back of the radio. When the cover finally popped off, I sucked in a quick breath.

  “The batteries aren’t dead,” I said in disbelief. “There are no batteries.”

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think someone set us up.”

  I frowned. “I think they did. We’re going to have to be careful. If we survive this kayak trip, at least.”

  The water reached my knees, and it kept coming in. The more water that filled the boat, the lower the boat sat in the water and the closer we became to being pulled under completely.

  I gave up on the radio and began shoveling water again. I had to keep going because I really didn’t want to swim back to the shore. I had a life preserver—if that hadn’t also been compromised—but the chilly temperature of the bay would make it easy for hypothermia to kick in.

  Of all the ways I’d seen myself dying, here in the bay while kayaking was not one of them.

  No, I couldn’t think like that. I just had to concentrate on getting the water out of the boat. And my other concern, next to dying, was the note. If it got wet, any of my potential evidence would be gone. I had no way of preserving it.

  In the distance, the island became larger. It was definitely Bird’s Nest Island. That was the good news.

  The bad news was that no matter how fast Riley paddled, our safe place still looked really far away.

  Lord, be with us. No matter how foolish this investigation may be, please show us Your favor. I beg You. Let me live through this trial so I can show my deepened character.

  I prayed that prayer more often than I’d like to admit.

  Splash, scoop, slosh.

  Splash, scoop, slosh.

  The sounds became a rhythm, one we needed to keep constant in order to get through this.

  Something about it brought me comfort.

  Until I realized the water was up to my waist.

  “We’re going under!”

  He kept paddling. “Listen, even if we go under, we’re going to be okay. We’ll turn the kayak over and use it as a floatation device. We’ll stick together and make it back to the shore. We’ll be cold, but we can survive this. Okay?”

  I nodded, continuing to scoop water. Riley always made me feel safe and like he was watching out for me. I craved that in my life.

  I was falling back into my old patterns, wasn’t I? I couldn’t do that. I had to fight harder.

  “You ready to do this, Gabby?”

  I snapped back to reality. The land in the distance was probably a mile away. It was hard to guess. But at least we had a location to anchor us. We could do this.

 
“I’m ready,” I finally said.

  “Let’s climb out. We can flip the kayak and use it to give us some buoyancy for as long as we can. It will help keep us from being completely immersed in the water.”

  “Are there sharks out here?” Last summer, a fifty-year-old man had lost his leg because of a shark attack in Virginia Beach. Why, oh, why, did I have to remember that now? My mental jukebox began playing the theme song from Jaws. I kept trying to switch tunes, but it didn’t work.

  “Sharks aren’t going to mess with us,” he said.

  “How do you know?” I was already looking for fins circling us.

  I straddled the kayak long enough to glance back at Riley. His eyes held assurance. He could always calm me like no one else could.

  “I’m declaring that in faith.” His firm statement comforted me.

  That’s right. Faith. I had to trust that God was in control right now.

  With a touch of hesitance, I carefully placed my legs over the side. I gave Riley one last glance before propelling myself into the water. Icy-cold liquid surrounded me, so frigid that it took my breath away.

  Riley followed behind me. We turned and grabbed the plastic boat. I pulled myself up as much as I could, desperate to stay warm.

  “No matter what, we stick together, right?” Riley glanced at me, made sure I had eye contact and that I nodded. “Let’s start swimming toward the shore.”

  “Aye-aye, Captain.”

  We began kicking. Our movements seemed slow, but at least we were moving. Moving gave me hope. As did Riley’s muscles with his arms stretched taut over the kayak. Really, there was no one else I’d rather be stuck out here with.

  “Look over there!” I pointed in the distance. It was a boat. Captain Leroy’s maybe? “De boat! De boat!”

  “What?”

  I tried to shrug, but my life jacket concealed the action. “Fantasy Island, except with a boat instead of a plane.”

  “Well, at least you can maintain your sense of humor and your pop-culture references.”

  “Sometimes humor and pop-culture references are all you have. And God,” I quickly added.

  “Amen to that.”

  With urgency, I began waving my arms and yelling. Riley did also.