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  DIRTY DEEDS

  By Christy Barritt

  Dirty Deeds: A Novel

  Copyright 2013 by Christy Barritt

  Published by Princeton Halls Press

  Cover design by The Killion Group

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.

  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  The persons and events portrayed in this work are the creation of the author, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Acclaim for the Squeaky Clean series:

  Christy Barritt’s novel, Hazardous Duty, is a delightful read from beginning to end. The story’s fresh, engaging heroine with an unusual occupation hooked me, and I couldn’t put it down. I highly recommend Hazardous Duty. ~ Colleen Coble, bestselling author

  The next time you're tempted to watch CSI reruns, read this book instead! Spunky, sassy Gabby St. Claire sparkles in this new series. She'll keep you turning the pages. ~ Siri Mitchell, INSPY award-winning author

  With Gabby St. Claire, Christy Barritt has created a fun sleuth in a unique profession. Hazardous Duty provides both humor and an engaging mystery. The twists and turns of the whodunit are matched only by the surprises of Gabby's spiritual growth and romantic entanglements. ~ Sharon Dunn, multi-published mystery and suspense author

  Stay tuned and watch for more from this gifted, talented author. You'll love it. ~ Cheryl Wolverton, multi-published author

  Crime scene cleanup should be a safe enough occupation, right? It comes after the crime is over. Not necessarily! Come enjoy this fun romp through the complications . . . men, mold, mayhem and murder . . . in Gabby St. Claire's rollercoaster life. ~ Lorena McCourtney, author of the Ivy Malone mysteries

  Crime scene cleaning is dirty job, but Christy Barritt has made it hilarious. Amateur sleuth Gabby St. Claire is back, and in trouble again! Suspicious Minds delivers a riveting mystery, but it's Gabby's irrepressible charm as she engages a zany cast of characters that keeps readers turning pages. Put this series on your must read list! ~ Claudia Mair Burney, author of the Amanda Bell Brown Mysteries

  Suspicious Minds is witty, punchy and fast-paced. Kudos to Christy Barritt for an entertaining and intriguing read! ~ Janice Thompson, award-winning author

  Suspicious Minds plays havoc on the nerves and the funny bone as crime scene cleaner Gabby St. Claire wisecracks her way between dead bodies and flying bullets. A treat not to be missed! ~ Jill Elizabeth Nelson, author of the To Catch a Thief series

  Other Books by Christy Barritt

  Squeaky Clean Mysteries:

  #1 Hazardous Duty

  #2 Suspicious Minds

  #2.5 It Came Upon a Midnight Crime

  #3 Organized Grime

  #4 Dirty Deeds

  #5 The Scum of All Fears (coming soon!)

  #6 To Love, Honor, and Perish (coming soon!)

  Suburban Sleuth Mysteries:

  #1 Death of the Couch Potato’s Wife

  #2 Death of the Cul-de-Sac Queen (2013)

  Standalone Romantic-Suspense Titles:

  Keeping Guard

  The Last Target

  Race Against Time

  Ricochet

  Key Witness

  Lifeline

  High-Stakes Holiday Reunion (November 2013)

  Suspense:

  The Trouble with Perfect

  Home Before Dark

  Mystery:

  The Good Girl

  Nonfiction:

  Changed: True Stories of Finding God Through Christian Music

  The Novel in Me: a Beginner’s Guide to Writing and Publishing a Novel

  This book is dedicated to all of my readers who keep asking for more. Those are the words a novelist loves to hear!

  A special thank you to Kathy, Janet, Carolyn, and Shannon for your help with this book.

  CHAPTER 1

  “I only have one request this week.” Riley Thomas snuck a glance at me from the driver’s seat of his beat up old Toyota Camry as we climbed the mountain road.

  “You name it,” I told him.

  “No snooping. No following your curiosity wherever it leads. No sticking your nose into other people’s business. No almost getting yourself killed. For once, I just want us to have fun.”

  I glanced over at my fiancé and nodded, as if he’d just asked me to do something ordinary and mundane, like cooking his favorite meal. “Of course. No following, sticking, or getting killed on my part. I can totally handle that.”

  This was going to be a long week. Just having fun? When did I ever do that? Fun was following leads and being nosy. The “almost being killed” part was debatable. I’d earned a bit of a reputation in the past for my work as a crime scene cleaner.

  Riley’s hands were casually draped through the steering wheel, despite the fact that even an Indy car driver might be stressed out right now with all of these twists and turns through the Virginia mountains. Steep drop offs threatened us on one side and looming cliffs on the other.

  Before we’d turned off the main highway, I’d seen a sign declaring “Treacherous Road. Remain cautious.” But our GPS led us onward and upward. And who were we to argue with the GPS?

  Instead of stressing, I turned up the radio. I’d plugged in my smart phone, and an MP3 of My Fair Lady swooned through the car. “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” to be exact. For a moment before embarking on this trip, I’d been tempted to practice my Cockney accent, then I decided against it.

  This was the first time Riley and I had taken a trip together. Ever. And this was my first trip out of my hometown of Norfolk, Virginia in ages. We were meeting some of Riley’s friends from law school for some kind of attorney conference. During the day, he and his friends would go to their workshops. I, on the other hand, would relax and do things like swim in the pool, play tennis, take golf lessons, or get a massage.

  I would not—I repeat would not—snoop, as per my recent promise to Riley.

  As we rounded another sharp curve, sweat broke out across my forehead. I lifted my red hair from my neck to cool off. Normally I wore my hair curly and down to my shoulders. But we were going to this fancy resort with his fancy friends, so I’d decided to straighten it. I’d traded my normal jeans and T-shirt for some nicer jeans and a nicer T-shirt.

  Sacrifices. That’s what relationships were about.

  Riley, on the other hand, looked the part of a prep school boy in his neatly pressed khaki shorts, a royal blue, V-neck shirt that matched his eyes, and some loafers. His thick dark hair was just tousled enough to show that he wasn’t totally uptight, and he’d decided to forgo shaving for the week, so stubble lined his chin and the edges of his cheeks.

  I grasped the armrest as another blind curve appeared in front of us on the snaky, desolate mountain byway. “This road is a death trap. Are you sure this is the right way to Wealthy Springs?”

  “It’s Healthy Springs,” he corrected. “And this is a fun ride, isn’t it? It gets your adrenaline pumping.”

  I looked out my window at the nearly endless drop into the valley below. My ears chose to pop, like they didn’t want me to forget the thinning altitude. “Fun wouldn’t exactly be my word of choice.”

  But Wealthy Springs would be exactly what I meant to say.

  I thought my word choice fit the whole resort persona better, at least from what I’d read about the place online. The resort, called Allendale Acres, had once been a playground for the country’s wealthiest, including more than twenty presidents, who all came here to enjoy the resort’s natural springs. My previous idea of a nice hotel meant staying at a Holiday Inn instead of a Super 8.

  Riley jerked the steering wheel to the left as he rounded a
U-shaped bend. I could picture us flying off the road and remaining suspended in the air, much like Wile E. Coyote in one of those old cartoons, until the imaginary bottom disappeared, and we crashed to our deaths.

  I swallowed and closed my eyes. I had to take my mind off this road before I lost it. “So, all of your college buddies are going to be here this weekend, huh?”

  “That’s right.” Riley glanced over at me, a hint of a smile on his lips.

  “Eyes on the road!” I instructed, pointing straight ahead. “There’ll be plenty of time for you to stare at me and tell me how beautiful I am later.”

  “I can think of nothing else I’d rather do.”

  My cheeks actually reddened for a moment. How did Riley still have that effect on me? I sucked in a deep breath, realizing that between the road, Riley’s pure and perfect chivalry, and this reunion, I was jumpier than popcorn in a frying pan.

  Still, I was excited to see a different side of Riley. Since we were getting married in six months, I thought this weekend trip could be really interesting. It could also be painful because the likelihood that I would fit in with his law school friends was slim to nothing. No, my chances were better for fitting in with the inmates at a local correctional facility, and I’d put quite a few of them behind the bars there, if that told you anything.

  Riley’s friend Derek had called him a couple of months ago and suggested having a reunion, going as far as to say they could combine business with pleasure, because there was going to be this professional development conference going on at Allendale. According to Riley, there would be six of his old friends from Georgetown School of Law there.

  As if he could read my mind, Riley said, “I think you’ll really like them, Gabby.”

  I nodded, absorbing his quick words and tight voice. Very unlike my confident, levelheaded fiancé. “You’re uncomfortable about something. What? Are you afraid your friends won’t like me?”

  I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know the answer to that question, but it was too late. My inquiry was already out there, hanging suspended, much like I imagined this car after just one wrong turn.

  Riley’s face softened, and he threw a quick glance my way. “No, not at all. It’s not like that. I know they’ll love you.”

  “So why are you tugging at your shirt collar like you suddenly can’t breathe?” I was an investigator—I’d been an official, respectable one for a whole month, at least—so I felt like the power of observation was on my side.

  He finally sighed and raked a hand through his thick brown hair. “My friends are . . . my friends are different, Gabby. I know I don’t talk about this very much, but I’m not the same person as I was back then.”

  Now I was curious. Were his friends part of a secret lawyer-by-day/motorcycle-gang-by-night group? Or maybe they all had dreads and listened to reggae, specializing in law cases involving voodoo and marijuana? Or maybe they’d all banded together because before law school they’d had aspirations of joining the circus? My imagination could make this far worse than reality. “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “It’s just that—” Before Riley could finish his sentence, the car hit a patch of gravel and skidded. The vehicle fishtailed, veering left, then right. The edge of the mountain loomed precariously close.

  I grabbed the dashboard, bracing myself for either a harsh collision with the rock wall beside us or a free fall down the steep cliff on the other side. This was not how I saw my life ending.

  At the hands of a vicious killer? Maybe.

  In the middle of a gang fight? Perhaps.

  Heck, I could even see my life ending because I’d breathed an airborne pathogen. But not in a car accident. Especially not in a car accident with no one chasing us, hanging out of the window with a gun in hand.

  The car careened, the back tires edging dangerously close to the drop off. Those flimsy pine trees below wouldn’t be any match for the furor of this chunk of metal tumbling toward them with endless momentum. No, those trees would snap in half like pencils. So would my neck for that matter. And Riley’s.

  Riley jerked the wheel again. The car spun and spun. My life flashed before my eyes.

  This trip was supposed to end with “I’ve Had the Time of My Life,” complete with Riley and I dancing on stage at a talent show like Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing. Instead, it was looking more like the trip would start with R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It.”

  I screamed and braced myself.

  CHAPTER 2

  The car continued to spin and screech until finally colliding with the wall of rock beside us. My head jutted forward on the impact, before being stopped by a spray of white powder and a huge balloon.

  That would be the air bag, I supposed. I’d never had an up close and personal encounter with one before.

  As all went silent, I punched the cushiony material away, coughing the powder out of my lungs.

  I craned my neck to check on Riley. My heart pounded in my chest at a steady staccato as I wondered what I’d see. Blood? A lifeless body?

  Please, let him be okay.

  “Riley?”

  The airbag disappeared, and his face came into view. He was scowling but appeared uninjured. “Gabby? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. You?”

  He drew in a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m okay. Not so much the car, though.” He shoved the deflated airbag out of the way and tried the ignition. It moaned and groaned before going silent. “We’re not driving away from this one.”

  “I’m happy just to be walking away.”

  My phone must have come unplugged because, at that moment, “Staying Alive” by the BeeGees blared from my tiny speakers. Appropriate. Somehow my playlist had switched to “Oldies.”

  “Let’s get out of the car before someone rams us.” Riley pushed himself out and then reached his hand in to help me.

  I would have to climb through his door since mine was crushed against the mountain. Still, that could have been much, much worse. We could have been crushed.

  Riley’s hand wrapped around mine, and he helped me maneuver over the center console. My flip-flop nearly slipped off as I pulled my leg over the steering wheel. They were my favorite pair—they had black sequins on the straps—so there was no way I was leaving these in the wreckage. I quickly grabbed it, slipped it on, and then hopped out onto the asphalt. Despite the towering trees, the sun hit my shoulders, reminding me that everything would be just fine.

  Riley led me down the road in search of safety. We found a little nook in the side of the mountain. We pressed ourselves there, into the craggy rock, drawing as far away from the road as possible. The stone was cool and moist. When I looked up, I saw a small trickle of water coming down from above.

  Riley pulled out his cell phone and held it in the air. “No reception. Go figure.”

  “Certainly someone will come past . . . eventually,” I offered.

  Riley pulled me toward him and kissed the top of my head. Whenever he did that, it made me feel tiny and protected. Though I usually prided myself in being independent, I actually liked the warmth that spread through me at his affection.

  “I’m glad you’re okay,” he mumbled.

  “That was some scary stuff. Sorry about your car.”

  His hand traveled down to caress my cheek. “Cars can be replaced. I was just worried about you. This is not, however, how I wanted to start this trip.”

  “Well, our plans take other paths sometimes. Isn’t that what you always say? We plot our course all we want, but the Big Guy upstairs sometimes has different ideas.”

  “You know it.” He shifted, tugging me back farther from the road. “You do realize that this is the first trip we’ve taken together?” He sent a sharp glance my way. “It will be a good chance for us just to have fun together like a normal couple.”

  I jerked up one eyebrow, making my doubt evident. “I don’t think we’re ever going to be a normal couple, Riley. You do realize
that, don’t you?”

  His blue eyes sparkled. “Who wants to be normal? But you know what I mean. Ever since we’ve known each other, we’ve just been caught up in some type of investigation, it seems. It will be good for us just to chill out and relax.”

  Chilling out and relaxing seemed so unnatural. Would this be a good time to tell him about the news I’d received right before we left? That due to state budget cuts my position with the Medical Examiner’s Office had been eliminated? My heart lurched at the thought. My dreams had been within my grasp, only to be snatched away. That seemed to be the story of my life.

  Riley had sounded surprised I’d managed to get the time off so quickly for this trip, especially since I’d only worked at my new job for a month. But I did tell him only two weeks ago that, due to budget cuts, my hours had been taken back to part time, so he knew that much. He just didn’t know that I’d received confirmation that money woes were striking budgets everywhere, and my career had effectively died before it began.

  Now I was going to have to beg Chad Davis to let me come back to my crime scene cleaning business. Truth be told, I’d kind of missed the job, anyway. At least I’d had freedom and flexibility. I’d set my own hours, dressed however I wanted, and answered to no one but myself.

  Somehow, being introduced to Riley’s friends as a Medical Legal Death Investigator had a better ring to it than being introduced as a crime scene cleaner, though. Medical Legal Death Investigator made people nod with curiosity and admiration. Crime scene cleaner made people flinch.

  Hence my hesitation.

  Still, I had to tell Riley the whole story. I’d been waiting for the right time. I supposed I could have spilled the beans on the way here. We’d gone to church, grabbed some lunch, and then hit the road for a four-hour drive.